Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
