I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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