the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I would fuck him just for his dog
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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