I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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