I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I want her autograph on my taint
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
