We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
