I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
