fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
