I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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