Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
