so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
