tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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