I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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