Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
