she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
