I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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