He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
birth control should be required to get into college
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
