Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
