I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
