Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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