she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I wish you could order shots online.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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