I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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