Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
