It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he puts the penis in happiness.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
