i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
