Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
