so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
There are leaves in my underwear?
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