so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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