when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
