No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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