Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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