Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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