Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
