I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
