Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
