if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
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