Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
