never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
