In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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