yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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