Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
