You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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