This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
