Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
