someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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