Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
