Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
