Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
the raccoons are back...
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