you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
