i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
